Book Recommendation - When Life Doesn't Match Your Dreams
1. The first chapter is about Eve (start at the very beginning, right?). Ms. Smith speaks to the relationship that was broken after Eve ate the fruit. She speculates that there may have likely been broken relationship between her and Adam - but more so, there was a relationship split from God. In all of my growing up years (and even into adulthood as I still don't have a best "girl" friend and count my husband as my only bestie), I struggled with keeping a best friend. In my younger years, there were things beyond my control -like when my family moved 45 minutes away from where my friends lived - or even as minor as my best friend being in the other 4th grade class and I had to find a new one in my new class. However, there were definitely some that were my fault. In Jr. High, the "need to be popular" bug hit me hard. Even though I'd been dissed the year before by a friend who hit Jr. High the year before me, I turned around and did the same thing to my best friend, who I no longer deemed popular enough to be seen with. I did it again in high school when I decided I wanted to date a boy that my best friend did not approve of. Because I knew she wouldn't approve, I didn't tell her. There was another friend who did approve and I did tell her..... and did irreparable damage to that friendship because she felt betrayed. Eve had this same sense of deep loss caused by her own choices when she chose to listen to the serpent instead of obeying God.
2. Chapter 2 is about Noah's wife. The author has given her the name Adah just so that we have a name to give to her. While Noah was building the ark, she underwent the same ridicule he did. And though her husband and sons and daughters-in-law were on the ark when the floods came, it is likely that she had other family members (parents, siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews, etc.) who were not saved. She was cast out from her family due to the public scorn and then lost all of her extended family in the flood. Any who have unsaved loved ones know this feeling full well. When my younger siblings were teenagers, they made some poor choices and ended up far from God. While I can very thankfully say that they are both back "in the fold" now, there were some definite years of heartache in our family. I actually sensed the spiritual warfare taking place over my brother's soul one night after fasting and praying for him. What we can glean from Adah's story is the need to share the good news with those we love..... but once we've planted the seed to leave them for God to reap the harvest. Some will be won and others will not, but we need to be persistent in our witness and our prayer.
3. Chapter 3 is about Sarai. This chapter speaks to the timeframe when Abram and Sarai had gone to Egypt - before Isaac - and even before Ishmael. Abram feared for his own life (even though God had promised at this time to make his descendants like the sand of the seashore) and therefore had Sarai tell Pharaoh that she was his sister rather than his wife. Sarai was abandoned by the one who was supposed to protect her and left in Pharaoh's palace to be done with as he pleased. This may have fed into the mistrust she had later in life when she sent Hagar away and when Abraham nearly sacrificed Isaac on the altar. The author notes that from all appearances, Abraham and Sarah's relationship changed at this point. Their tents were no longer close together. Trust is difficult to rebuild when you've been wounded so severely by someone that you love. Anyone who has been abandoned or betrayed by a loved one knows exactly how this feels. But God has not forgotten us.
4. Chapter 4 is about Hagar. Hagar was a servant and therefore had very few rights - at least during the time that we know of her life. She was used as a surrogate (more or less) for her mistress and then was abused by her after she got what she wanted. When she ran away, though, she met the God of Abraham and named him "The God who Sees" because God saw her and had compassion on her. He promised her that her child would also be a great nation and she obeyed him and returned to her mistress. If you feel unnoticed, unwanted or unloved, just know that God is the God who sees you!
5. Chapter 5 is about Lot's wife. The author has given her the name Melah. We know Lot's wife best from the fact that during the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, she was turned into a pillar of salt. Why did she look back? The author speculates that she looked back at the land that had been home to her - and all of the belongings and memories she left behind, for the same reason that many of us hearken back to the "good old days". How many times do we start a sentence with "well, when I was a kid...." and reminisce about how days were so much better. I think back to those relationships I mentioned in relation to the first chapter and think how much I'd like to have a friendship like that again..... while I'm generally not a sentimentalist, I have been known to dwell a great deal on the "what ifs". We need to learn from Lot's Wife to not look back and to take the advice of the apostle Paul to strain towards what is ahead!
6. Chapter 6 is about Rebekah. If you've read Genesis, you know that Rebekah coerced her younger son to steal the blessing from the older (and by older, I mean a few minutes as they were twins). When the twins were born, she received word from God that the older would serve the younger though, and since Isaac was still set on giving the blessing to his eldest, she took matters into her own hands. Because of it, Esau became so enraged that he wanted to kill his brother and she had to send him off to her family in order to keep him safe (and give him the opportunity to find a wife). Jacob spent YEARS apart from his family and when he returned, he offered a substantial peace offering to his brother. If Rebekah hadn't interfered and let things happen God's way in His time, would they have lived to be a happy family? Sadly, we will never know. How many times have we taken the promises of God and, being impatient for Him to move, have taken matters into our own hands? I've been guilty of that a time or two. Fortunately, nothing as extreme as having 2 sons wanting to kill each other, but enough for me to know that I'd done the right thing the wrong way.
7. Chapter 7 is about Rachel. Rachel had been promised to Jacob after he labored 7 years for her father. All accounts point to the fact that she was equally in favor of the match, and that they loved one another. However, Rachel (and Jacob) was betrayed by her very own father - the one who should have protected her interests - and also by her sister, who stood in her place on her wedding day. Have you ever felt THAT sting of betrayal? For those who are supposed to look out for your best interest to so deeply stick that knife in your back. While I can't say I've felt this depth of betrayal personally, I volunteer with kids in foster care. Several of those HAVE felt that betrayal as a parent sat back while another abused them, over and over again. Any person who has found their spouse or significant other cheating on them (particularly with a friend) knows this pain full well. The only way to move past this pain is to forgive. We're not certain if Rachel ever forgave her sister or her father, but it would offer a happy(ish) ending to their story!
8. Chapter 8 is about Leah. Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt like you were in second place? Then you can understand Leah. Knowing her husband's heart belonged to her sister couldn't have been easy. In today's (mostly) monogamous society, generally this 2nd place feeling is not quite as evident as it was to Leah, but we can still come in second place to many things - work, pornography, video games...... the list could go on. While I'm fortunately not there now, I have found myself in 2nd place to pornography in the past. I know some women who have/had husbands who were so engrossed in their video games when they got home from work, that they felt like single parents to more than just their kids. I've also known of women whose husbands were never home because they were always at work or doing job-related things. Leah took a risk by seeking out Jacob's affection, knowing he loved her sister. And she endured a great deal of grief from it. However, there is a little bit of light at the end of her story. When Joseph has his dreams that the sun, moon and 11 stars bow down to him, his dad asks him "are your mother and brothers and I really going to bow down to you?" At this point in the story, Rachel has been dead for many years. We can only speculate that he refers to Leah as the mother and that he did eventually come to love her. Maybe not in the same way that he loved Rachel, but Leah is who he's buried beside. So, take heart you who feel unloved.
9. Chapter 9 is about Dinah. Dinah was the only daughter of Jacob who is listed in the scriptures. We're not sure if she made some unwise choices that put her in the position that she was raped by Shechem. Perhaps she wandered too far into the neighboring camps - but whatever happened that brought it about, she likely became an old maid due to the stain on her purity. To make matters worse, her brothers killed the man responsible (who ended up wanting to marry her and "make things right") and all of his family. Have you ever been irreparably stained? Again, I'm hopeful that Dinah was eventually able to forgive - both Shechem and her brothers. Forgiveness and grace is the only way to be free from that stain.
10. Chapter 10 is about Potiphar's wife. The author has given her the name Aneski. Have you ever felt rejected? If so, you can relate to this character. She tried, multiple times, to seduce Joseph. Each time, he turned her down. Because her husband was a man of power, she was likely very beautiful - and likely very used to getting her own way. Rejection can come in many forms - in relationships, in a job, in a spot on the team. If you've ever been turned down for anything, you know how she must have felt. What we can learn from Aneski is how NOT to respond. Rather than casting blame and pouting, we should look at what God is teaching us through this. Learn from it and keep pressing on in other ventures instead.
11. Chapter 11 is about Tamar. Tamar was Judah's daughter-in-law. His son (her husband) died and so his second-born was tasked with marrying his brother's widow to bring children in his brother's name. He also died. Judah sent Tamar back to her father's home to wait for his third son's coming of age. Though he promised her a place in his family, he neglected to keep that promise. Tamar took things into her own hands when she realized that the time had come and gone to give her to Shelah as his wife. In today's society, her ploy is absolutely astounding. She dresses like a prostitute and seduces her father-in-law. She ends up pregnant and he is furious, demanding that she be burned alive. When the truth comes out that the babes she carries are his, he is taken with remorse as he realizes that it is he who broke his promise to her. Have you ever had a promise broken? God can heal that wound too. As an FYI, one of Tamar's children was a direct descendant of the Messiah!
12. The last chapter is about Zipporah, Moses's wife. Not much is known about Zipporah, but we can ascertain that she did not know or care much for the laws of her husband's God. We can glean this both from the fact that she stayed with her father when Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt (she came with her father when he met up with Moses in the wilderness) and from the fact that at least one of her children was not circumcised (yet she knew both that it needed to be done and how) and she did it on the spot to save her husband's life. Have you ever wrestled with God? Sought to understand why He commands certain things? We all have. Zipporah struggled with understanding God and therefore understanding her husband's call. However, if we stop fighting, cease the struggle, and let go and let God, we will come to a whole new understanding.
This book had great story and vast applications. You can see a few examples I was able to apply to my own life above. When Life Doesn't Match Your Dreams is aptly named. How many of our dreams have been dashed - just like these 12 women from scripture? We can learn so much from what they did and didn't do and learn to fully trust in God. That is the only way to survive this life.
When Life Doesn't Match Your Dreams releases on February 19, 2019. You can find it at your favorite retailers then! My full review is below.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2571214221?type=review#rating_202458849
Link for the Facebook launch party on the 19th:
https://www.facebook.com/events/820842214925038/.
For more information, check out:
www.jilleileensmith.com
You can also check the author's facebook page for compelling videos that introduce each character!
https://www.facebook.com/jilleileensmith/
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